Comments on: Decisions decisions… http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/ How to start a clothing line or run the one you have, better. Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:10:28 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: LizPf http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-18277 LizPf Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:30:20 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-18277 Wow! this is one of the best "good parent" stories I have ever heard. And I've heard quite a few. I spend a lot of time on gifted education e-lists,mostly acting as a peer counselor to folks who have no clue what rearing children is all about, much less smart kids. They are reluctant to give their children *any* freedom, so much that parents ask the best way to convince their kid's university to raise grades. Yup, university. For NT kids. I also know about kids with learning disabilities. My 13 year old has PDD-NOS ... a mild case, but enough that elementary school was a nightmare. [We moved to a district with incredibly good special education.] Just this summer, I began letting her take the bus/subway in to the big city -- alone, even though she doesn't have the navigational ability of a flea. I was one worried mommy at first! But she studied the routes, borrowed my cell phone, and was fine. We have to give our kids the maximum freedom they can handle. At any age, with any set of disabilities. I think you did exactly what was needed for The Boy to both feel freedom and trust in his mom. Which was why he came back in 3 hours. Wow! this is one of the best “good parent” stories I have ever heard. And I’ve heard quite a few.

I spend a lot of time on gifted education e-lists,mostly acting as a peer counselor to folks who have no clue what rearing children is all about, much less smart kids. They are reluctant to give their children *any* freedom, so much that parents ask the best way to convince their kid’s university to raise grades. Yup, university. For NT kids.

I also know about kids with learning disabilities. My 13 year old has PDD-NOS … a mild case, but enough that elementary school was a nightmare. [We moved to a district with incredibly good special education.] Just this summer, I began letting her take the bus/subway in to the big city — alone, even though she doesn’t have the navigational ability of a flea. I was one worried mommy at first! But she studied the routes, borrowed my cell phone, and was fine.

We have to give our kids the maximum freedom they can handle. At any age, with any set of disabilities. I think you did exactly what was needed for The Boy to both feel freedom and trust in his mom. Which was why he came back in 3 hours.

]]> By: Tracy Christian http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-12235 Tracy Christian Fri, 09 Jan 2009 03:18:34 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-12235 I'm reading your post while sitting in my office and trying not to cry. Recently my mother moved in with me and she battles major depression and a host of physical ailments. Actually I feel like I battle major depression. I sympathize with finding a way to protect a loved one while allowing them to save face. I pray alot. I cry even more. But mostly I try to find some relief in the fact that I'm here and able bodied. That without me my mother would be on the streets. I believe in Jesus Christ. Know that I'll be praying for you and your son. I’m reading your post while sitting in my office and trying not to cry. Recently my mother moved in with me and she battles major depression and a host of physical ailments. Actually I feel like I battle major depression. I sympathize with finding a way to protect a loved one while allowing them to save face. I pray alot. I cry even more. But mostly I try to find some relief in the fact that I’m here and able bodied. That without me my mother would be on the streets.

I believe in Jesus Christ. Know that I’ll be praying for you and your son.

]]> By: Kay http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-1570 Kay Thu, 29 Dec 2005 17:55:43 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-1570 I dont know what to say. (((((Hugs Kathleen)))) I dont know what to say. (((((Hugs Kathleen))))

]]> By: Carol Kimball http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-1569 Carol Kimball Thu, 29 Dec 2005 15:05:13 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-1569 One of our nieces, fleeing from an abusive home situation, fetched up with her grandparents and spent much of her waking non-school time with us. She had episodes of acting out, with developmental difficulties that were a pale patch on what's been posted here. We also fought the family hysteria for her right to do what she needed to do, including running away, though she was four years younger, another kind of vulnerability. Once the kids figure out how to manage a bus ticket to Omaha... She got through it, is happily married, and her child is named after my husband and his father. Whatever happens, Kathleen, you're doing it right. One of our nieces, fleeing from an abusive home situation, fetched up with her grandparents and spent much of her waking non-school time with us. She had episodes of acting out, with developmental difficulties that were a pale patch on what’s been posted here.

We also fought the family hysteria for her right to do what she needed to do, including running away, though she was four years younger, another kind of vulnerability. Once the kids figure out how to manage a bus ticket to Omaha…

She got through it, is happily married, and her child is named after my husband and his father.

Whatever happens, Kathleen, you’re doing it right.

]]> By: Susan McElroy http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-1568 Susan McElroy Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:48:30 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-1568 Oh, Kathleen, I so feel for you and hope for the best. I have a son who's now 20 who I had to raise alone. He developed a taste for alcohol and it's been such an incredible struggle. Finally he's realizing on his own that showing up for work (which he loves) with a hangover isn't getting him anywhere, and that his wild friends he used to "hang" with get less cool every day. But the sleepless nights, the fear (even now) when I know he wants to go to Spain to study and I hear about out-of-control drug use in clubs in the big cities... Your reaction to his running away was not unlike the way I dealt with my own son, and so far it seems like it was really the only way I could have dealt with such a headstrong, independent minded person. I wish you and your husband all the luck in the world, and you're in my prayers. Oh, Kathleen, I so feel for you and hope for the best. I have a son who’s now 20 who I had to raise alone. He developed a taste for alcohol and it’s been such an incredible struggle. Finally he’s realizing on his own that showing up for work (which he loves) with a hangover isn’t getting him anywhere, and that his wild friends he used to “hang” with get less cool every day. But the sleepless nights, the fear (even now) when I know he wants to go to Spain to study and I hear about out-of-control drug use in clubs in the big cities…

Your reaction to his running away was not unlike the way I dealt with my own son, and so far it seems like it was really the only way I could have dealt with such a headstrong, independent minded person. I wish you and your husband all the luck in the world, and you’re in my prayers.

]]> By: Melissa Brown http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-1567 Melissa Brown Thu, 29 Dec 2005 02:06:25 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-1567 Dear Kathleen, You have my sympathy. That must have been the most agonizing three hours of your life. I'm so glad that the situation worked out well in the end. Dear Kathleen,
You have my sympathy. That must have been the most agonizing three hours of your life. I’m so glad that the situation worked out well in the end.

]]> By: Diane http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-1566 Diane Wed, 28 Dec 2005 17:24:29 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-1566 Ah, the challenges of parenting. This brought up memories of my daughter running away to South Carolina with several of her friends at the tender age of 15. We laugh about it now but it certainly wasn't funny on the plane ride home. Lately, she dreams of going to "gatherings" sponsored by her favorite rock group. These events are over a thousand miles away and rather than tell her flatly that she can't go, (she's 17) I ask her to do the math. How will she get there? At what cost? If she is depending on her boyfriend for transportation will he bail on her after she's already bought her ticket? She came to the same conclusion as I, that it wasn't worth the trip. Now we're doing the same process with a car purchase. She has her heart set on a used Jeep Cherokee that is no longer manufactured and believes it will be reliable unlike the '96 Grand Cherokee I have that is on it's 2nd transmission with 90k on the speedo. She must do her own research! I'm not sure how I made the switch from "no, you can't do that" to "figure it out for yourself". Maybe my older daughter helped me realize that the younger one will soon be on her own and the control freak in me needed a different approach. Ah, the challenges of parenting. This brought up memories of my daughter running away to South Carolina with several of her friends at the tender age of 15. We laugh about it now but it certainly wasn’t funny on the plane ride home. Lately, she dreams of going to “gatherings” sponsored by her favorite rock group. These events are over a thousand miles away and rather than tell her flatly that she can’t go, (she’s 17) I ask her to do the math. How will she get there? At what cost? If she is depending on her boyfriend for transportation will he bail on her after she’s already bought her ticket? She came to the same conclusion as I, that it wasn’t worth the trip. Now we’re doing the same process with a car purchase. She has her heart set on a used Jeep Cherokee that is no longer manufactured and believes it will be reliable unlike the ‘96 Grand Cherokee I have that is on it’s 2nd transmission with 90k on the speedo. She must do her own research!

I’m not sure how I made the switch from “no, you can’t do that” to “figure it out for yourself”. Maybe my older daughter helped me realize that the younger one will soon be on her own and the control freak in me needed a different approach.

]]> By: Camille http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-1565 Camille Wed, 28 Dec 2005 09:37:50 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-1565 Whoa. that must have been awful. I think you handled it the best way. I can't imagine what I would have done. I wish I could help you help him. Camille Whoa.

that must have been awful. I think you handled it the best way. I can’t imagine what I would have done. I wish I could help you help him.

Camille

]]> By: Jess http://www.fashion-incubator.com/archive/decisions_decisions/comment-page-1/#comment-1564 Jess Wed, 28 Dec 2005 03:20:37 +0000 http://www.fashion-incubator.com/2005/12/decisions_decisions/#comment-1564 Glad to hear it worked out ok! Glad to hear it worked out ok!

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